Dying for you
by QuierdoMusic
Summary: Even as things get more difficult between the brothers, Dean keeps wearing the amulet Sam gave to him all these years ago. Things have to be especially bad if he finally takes it off, thinking he lost Sammy and now is facing Sam… TAG TO SEX AND VIOLENCE


**Okay… Title and summary are from my sis again :D**

**Thanks… so much… Love you.**

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**Okay… Read and review. **

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**Dying for you.**

_You would have died for me._

_Now you want to kill me._

_Damned, I died for you._

_Now__ I nearly chopped your head of with an axe._

_Okay, something is terrible wrong._

"Sam" I woke him up. "Sam, come on, wake up." I watched him carefully, when he opened his eyes. He looked so young again, so innocent after sleeping, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

"Why are you waking me?" He asked, scratching the back of his head, tiredly, wincing when his arm connected with the cut on his neck. _The cut, I have caused._

"We're at a motel, it's nearly 3 am and I'm tired." I got out of the car, waiting for Sam, so we could get a room.

_Okay… we were anything but okay. The way he looked at me. The way I felt myself jerk when he moved.__ I had lost my brother._

He wasn't even walking beside me, like we didn't belong to each other. He was carrying his own duffle bag, I was carrying mine. After he slept I was usually the one who carried both.

In the room it was not less awkward. He mumbled something about a shower, before turning around. I didn't bother to listen; he couldn't possible care less about my opinion anyway. Either he wanted to take or to buy a shower. I guessed he wanted to take a shower, though. Ugh. My head spun, my little brother had probably hit harder than I have thought, or it was the lack of sleep.

I had to lay down.

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**Normal Perspective**

"I don't even know how to kill him." Dean woke up with a start, hearing the quiet, cold voice of his brother. _Kill him. _"No… damn Ruby." Sam raised his voice. "Believe me, I want to kill him, but it's not that easy. Dean would…"

"Hey Sam" Dean barked, he didn't want to hear this. "Say hello to Ruby."

"I have to hang up." Sam stated shocked, looking at the older man. "Bye."

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, when Dean stood up, taking his jacket.

"Taking another room." Dean didn't look at his brother.

"NO…" Sam yelped. "Dean, you have to listen to me." He reached out, getting a firm grip on his brother's arm.

"Ouch." Sam hissed, after he had received a good-placed punch on his jaw, he felt blood tickle down his neck, when his head snapped back.

"I don't have to do anything. Imagine; I don't want to be strangled in my sleep." Dean shoved Sam hard back, before he ripped the necklace from around his neck. "Here. Burn it. It has always been my proof that there is a remainder of my little brother in you." Dean's confession hit Sam hard. "Now I know that my little brother died when I went to hell… I don't have another reason to keep this."

"D-Dean" Sam took the necklace in his hand, looking at his brother through stinging eyes. "Please, don't do this to me." He begged.

"Yeah Sam… do something to you. You are the one who is planning my death." Dean chuckled joylessly to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"Dean…" Sam coaxed.

"Shut up, Sam." Dean slammed the door close behind him, leaving Sam in the middle of the room, bleeding and crying.

Dean took a deep breath, before heading to the reception.

"Hey… I want a room." He stated, looking at the old man.

"Okay…" The man looked suspicious. "Don't you have one?"

"You need money." Dean snapped. "I need a room."

"Okay…" The man was pretty impolite. Dean shook his head. "You know how much one night costs." Dean rolled his eyes and handed the money to the man.

"Thanks" Dean hissed, being pissed off.

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Sam stood in his room, the necklace in his hand, not exactly knowing what just happened. His jaw hurt like mad and so did his neck with the opened wound. But the toughest pain was in his c hest. His big brother, who he always looked up to left. He felt the tears running over his cheeks, when he laid down on the bed, facedown, hugging his pillow.

He tried hard to fall asleep, but the happenings of the day hunted him. Every time he closed his eyes he could see Dean standing above him, an axe in his hands. Every time he moved he could feel every spot Dean had hit.

He hitched a sob, remembering the said words.

After an hour or so, he wasn't able to lay there anymore. He had to go to Dean.

Standing up, he nearly doubled over, all his muscles were sore. "Ouch" he hissed, making his way over to the reception.

"Do you want to have another room, too?" The man asked, seeing Sam's tears-strained face. "What's wrong with the room?"

"Can you please tell me where my brother is?" Sam asked.

"Brother… right" The man chuckled. "He's in room sixteen."

"Thank you" Sam whispered, turning around.

At the room, he didn't knock; he knew Dean wouldn't lock the door. He at least guessed it, since Sam is still in the same house.

"Dean?" Sam asked, quietly, closing the door.

Suddenly he was shoved against the door. A small yelp of pain escaped his lips, when the door connected with his sore backside.

"What do you want?" Dean asked, he had no problems to hold his struggling brother in place. Sam was sore and mentally hurt.

"Dean… please." Sam stopped struggling, being jammed between Dean's arm and the door.

"What do you want?" Dean repeated more forcefully, pressing a cold blade against the already sore spot on his little brother's neck. "I've never thought I would kill you, but I don't want to end in the pit again. It's not worth it anymore." Sam sobbed, hearing this. "So… before you kill me…" Sam felt his skin being cut open.

Sam shut his eyes, waiting for Dean to finally end it.

But suddenly Dean stepped back, like he had burnt his finger on the fabric of Sam's jacket. His gaze lingered on his brother's chest. There was the necklace. His little brother was wearing the necklace, even after he had explained the meaning.

"Okay" Dean searched for his brother's eyes. "Did you come to kill me?"

"No…" Sam sobbed.

"Then go." Dean "I'm going to be here tomorrow. We have to calm down first."

"I don't have to calm down. I want to be here. _Please_" Sam begged.

"I'll be here tomorrow, but now please go." Dean pulled Sam away from the door to open it, before gently showing him outside. "Sorry, Sam." He didn't meant to hurt him, but he himself felt that the love he had felt for his brother had vanished in some kind of ways.

Sam couldn't fight Dean, but he also couldn't go back to the room alone. So he just sat down in front of Dean's, his head buried in his arms.

Inside Dean was standing in the middle of the room, running a hand through his head. He guessed he had done the right thing; Sam didn't want him near anyway. And he had just nearly killed his little brother.

He knew that though the hunter in him would have killed Sam, the thought on killing Sam murdered the brother-Dean in him.

He had to talk to somebody about everything. _Bobby_.

It was 4 in the morning, but this guy would understand. He always did.

Opening his mobile-phone his heart sunk when he saw the little screen. It was a picture of Sam, sitting in the passenger side of the Impala, a plastic spoon in his mouth, fast asleep. Sam had been twenty-two. They have been in Texas, playing pranks. Sam had messed with his Impala and glued a bottle to his hand. He had no skin left.

Back there he thought he couldn't possible be mad at his little brother. It was Sammy.

He was still Sammy.

He dialled his best friend's number. It took some time that Bobby answered the phone.

"Demon?" A horse voice asked.

"Hey Bobby… that's a way to answer the phone." Dean joked.

"Shut up. What do you need? Have you problems with a demon?" Bobby asked.

"Ugh… no." Dean's voice was little. Bobby obviously thought that at 4 in the morning the only reason for a call would be any kind of supernatural beings.

"Spirit?" Bobby quizzed further.

"No… nothing supernatural." Dean bit his lip.

"Okay… then you're calling me to hear my voice?" Bobby yawned.

"Something like that…" Dean confessed, getting Bobby's full attention.

"What happened?" Bobby's voice was gentle now, feeling the tension from the other man.

"Sam and I fought… oh damn it, Bobby, it's bad… I've nearly killed him." Dean could feel tears in his eyes.

"I know Dean… I've been there." Bobby soothed.

"NO." Dean sobbed. "Five minutes ago, I had again a knife on his throat." He could hear Bobby huff. "You know, he isn't him anymore… it's like he is possessed." Dean sighed angrily. "Hell…it's like I'm possessed."

"Okay, calm down boy." Bobby said calmly, knowing that his boys were suffering. Both of them. "Where is the kid?"

"Old Sammy would sit in front of the room, wailing like a baby, waiting for me to pick him up." Dean so hoped that Sam would do this. "The new one… I don't know, where he would be… probably somewhere doing exorcism demons with Ruby."

"Bring im here." Bobby ordered.

After bracing himself, Dean stood up. _Please sit there._ He thought, squeezing his phone a little tighter. He slowly opened the door, a weight falling from his shoulder when he saw Sammy sit there. Not Sam… Sammy.

"Get in" Dean nudged Sam's tight gently with his socked foot. Sam looked up surprised, but followed Dean into the room.

"He's here." Dean said to Bobby, relief in his voice.

"Who's here?" Sam asked quietly, hugging himself, when he stood there, a little awkwardly.

"Ugh… I was talking to Bobby." Dean winked with his phone, turning on the loudspeaker. "Sit down, you're trembling." Dean pushed Sam to the bed, sitting him down, before he let himself fall beside Sam.

"Hey Sam" Bobby greeted.

"He can't hear you nod, Sam" Dean smirked a little, when he saw that Sam was unable to use his voice. I had always be when he tried not to cry.

"Hey Bobby" Sam managed to say. His voice was barley over a whisper.

"So you two." Bobby used his calmest voice. "I don't want to go through the same procedure like we did when you fought as children. I could list you up all the things you like at each other, but I think you're old enough to get your heads out of your asses, yourself."

"Yeah" Dean chuckled sadly, while Sam didn't move, staring at the phone.

"Okay… You both want to kill each other?" Bobby felt like a priest, who was doing a wedding.

"No" Both boys answered both voices sure. Dean was watching Sam, Sam still the phone.

"You are scared of the other?" Bobby asked. "You are scared that the other might kill you."

"No" Sam answered immediately, meaning it.

Dean looked at Sam's head, before he reached over and gripped Sam's chin, gently lifting his head, so Sam looked him in the eyes. "No… I'm don't think he would." Dean stated, smiling a little, realising Sam's chin, who looked down again.

"Good." They could hear Bobby smile. "You want to go separate ways?"

"No" The brothers said together, both a little more hysterical than they intended to.

"You still love each other… you would still die for each other… making my life to a living hell?" Bobby asked, sure which answer he would receive.

Sam looked up again, biting his lower lip; Dean titled his head, smiling at the sight of his _baby_ brother. "Yeah…" Dean said.

Sam grinned. "Yeah… thanks Bobby."

"Good… I need my sleep. You two okay?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah… now we're okay… I guess." Dean shifted, so he was sitting beside Sam, shoulders touching. Sam breathed contented, mimicking his brother's position. "Good night, Bobby." Dean smirked, hanging up.

The room was filled with a pleasant silence, till Dean suddenly stood up. "What's up?" The younger one asked, lifting his head, his eyes were still puffy and red.

"Shh" Dean shushed him. "I'll be back in a minute." He ruffled Sam's head, heading for the bathroom. Sam shook his head.

"Okay… let's take care about your neck." Dean said, coming back with a towel. "Does it have to be stitched?" Dean asked, gently running the towel over the spot.

"Guess not." Sam said, tears in his eyes again. Dean did care.

"Good." Dean smiled, cleaning the stitch. He wondered why Sam let him do this; usually his brother would tell him that it was no big deal.

He guessed that it was the bad conscience that was torturing his brother.

"How's your back?" Dean asked.

"Hurts" Sam let his head fall, when Dean was done with his neck.

"Remove your shirt." Dean gently lifted the tail of Sam's T-Shirt, helping him out of it.

"Ouch." Dean hissed, seeing his little brother's colourful back. "I'm sorry." Dean touched the back, squeezing every inch carefully to look for broken bones.

Sam squirmed in pain. "Nothing's broken" Dean stated. "I could bandage it up." He suggested.

"Tomorrow okay?" Sam asked pitiful, Dean smiled at him, knowing that he didn't want to be bandaged up, because Dean would have to leave the room.

"Yeah… course." Dean nodded, sitting down again on Sam's side. Again there was another comfortable silence set between the two.

"Here Dean" Sam hissed in pain, while he tried to remove the necklace. "It's yours and… I don't know if you still…"

"Thanks Sammy, but for tonight you can have it, really." Dean smiled at Sam, when he let his hands fall into his lap. Sam looked at his brother's with puppy dog's eyes. "I'll be even happier when I get it back, bro."

Sam nodded.

"Dean…"

"Yeah?"

"We weren't talking about you… you know." Sam hugged himself, leaning more against Dean. Dean bit his lip, having already guessed this. He took Sam's the pillow and gently shoved it behind Sam's back, so the hard wall weren't connected with Sam's back.

"Go on… I'm listening." Dean assured gently.

"Okay… Ruby and I were talking about Alastair"

"Ugh" Dean gulped. "Sorry Sammy. I shouldn't have doubt you."

Sam chuckle, closing his eyes.

"Tomorrow I want to have my necklace back, Sammy… I feel naked." Not receiving a response he asked again. "Sammy?"

Surprised Dean looked down at Sam's head, feeling the weight on his shoulder. He licked his lips, shifting to make them both comfortable. "I sure don't want another brother." He placed his cheek against Sam's hair, falling asleep quickly.

It was a good sleep…

Knowing that they both would still die for each other.

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